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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708061">he's kinda quiet but his body aint</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity'>ShyAudacity</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>American Sign Language, Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Choking, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Gen, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Injury, No Romance, Prompt Fill, Team as Family, Worried Eddie Diaz, Worried Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:47:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Buck,” Eddie says, his throat suddenly dry. “Buck, I need you to look at me so I can check you out.”</p><p>Buck’s face falters for a moment before turning towards Eddie and peeling back his hood. It’s only then that Eddie finally sees the split in his lip and the dark, purple bruising around his throat in the unmistakable shape of a hand. His cheeks are hollow and his eyes dark around the edges.</p><p>Eddie’s stomach has never lurched so hard so fast in all his life; he doesn’t know whether to scream or cry- maybe both.</p><p>OR</p><p>For Bingo Square: Damaged Vocal Cords.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>501</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>he's kinda quiet but his body aint</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/renecdote/gifts">renecdote</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey friends, this one while not very detailed still focuses a lot on one character being the victim of domestic abuse, so If that's not your cup of tea, it's alright to take a step back from this fic. Ren, I hope I did the prompt justice for you!</p><p>Title from Pierre by Ryn Weaver.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It happens so slowly and subtly that Eddie almost misses it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It starts with an off-hand comment from Buck about a date and not being able to come to karaoke night. Then, Buck is switching shifts while Taylor is on medical leave. Then it’s phone calls that go unanswered and one-word responses to texts. Eddie tells himself that it’s no big deal; Buck is just busy and it's easy to miss each other while they’re on different shifts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, after dinner one night, Christopher asks if Buck is mad at them and that’s why he hasn’t been coming over and Eddie does the math, realizing he hasn’t seen Buck in three months-.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How the hell did he let that happen?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie mentions it when he gets to work the next morning and Chimney and Hen make the same stunned faces that he made upon his own realization. The two of them do their own math and realize it’s been just as long for them, if not longer. When they all go and ask Bobby about when they’re getting Buck back, Bobby pulls a confused face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taylor’s been back from medical leave for weeks. Buck asked to be switched to B shift more than a month ago- he didn’t come talk to you guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s right then that Eddie feels his heart sink into his stomach, kicking himself for not noticing sooner. The three of them leave Bobby’s office, all of them wearing upset expressions and wondering if there’s something else going on here.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next couple of weeks, Eddie tries everything to get Buck to talk to him. Sending funny photos at all hours of the night, texts asking how he’s adjusting to the crew on B shift- anything to try and communicate with him. He even lets Christopher try and call him a few times, but it only ever goes to voicemail. After the last one, Christopher goes to bed with a frown on his face and Eddie feels disheartened right along with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the morning, he wakes up to a text and Eddie gets excited for all of ten seconds until he actually reads what it says.</span>
</p><p><b>Buck:</b> <em><span>Tell Chris I’m sorry I missed his call. Probably won’t be able to talk for a while, got a lot going on. </span></em></p><p>
  <span>Eddie wants to ask what the hell could be going on that he can’t make time for his friends anymore, but he gets the feeling that he wouldn’t get a response even if he did push.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t understand it. Why would Buck pull away from them? Why wouldn’t he say anything? Did something happen at work that they don’t know about? Is it a family thing? Eddie thought he and Buck were closer than that. He wracks his brain at night trying to come up with a solid answer, but nothing sticks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie’s able to put it out of his mind- or at least he tries to while he’s at work for the sake of focusing on calls, but its hard when there are still fragments of Buck everywhere he looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pieces of the puzzle finally start to fall together when the one-eighteen gets called to a vehicular accident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not a big accident, just a small collision at a four-way stop in a nearby neighborhood. The dent on the front end is barely noticeable. With the way the driver of the hit car is yelling at the top of his lungs, you’d think his truck was totaled. The poor teenager in the other car looks two seconds away from shitting her pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not even injured,” Chimney mutters to Eddie as they walk towards the scene. “What the hell is he yelling for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man whirls around as if having heard him; he’s got a solid three inches on Eddie and it makes him want to take a step back out of instinct. The anger is clear on his face. “Where are the police? My boyfriend and I were hit. I want that kid arrested- someone needs to pay for all of this!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand that sir, police have already been dispatched,” Bobby says, keeping his tone calm. He looks back to his team, “Chimney, you’re with the other driver. Eddie, take the passenger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They head off in separate directions with a nod. At first glance, Eddie sees someone in the front seat with their hood up. He rounds the back of the truck, checking for other passengers and words already falling off of his tongue as he walks up to the open window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, my name is Eddie, I’m here to-.” His train of thought derails itself as he sees who’s in front of him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Buck?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck sits still as a statue in the front seat, his eyes shifting over to Eddie without moving at all. He doesn’t say anything, but there’s no disguising the fear on his face. Eddie can’t remember a time that he saw Buck look this level of afraid and it rattles something inside of him. What the hell was he doing in the car with-</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The guy said his boyfriend was in the car. This is why Buck’s been so absent. That asshole has been hurting him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck,” Eddie says, his throat suddenly dry. “Buck, I need you to look at me so I can check you out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck’s face falters for a moment before turning towards Eddie and peeling back his hood. It’s only then that Eddie finally sees the split in his lip and the dark, purple bruising around his throat in the unmistakable shape of a hand. His cheeks are hollow and his eyes dark around the edges.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie’s stomach has never lurched so hard so fast in all his life; he doesn’t know whether to scream or cry- maybe both. He looks up towards the trucks, making sure the boyfriend is distracted before saying anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretend like you’ve never met me before,” Eddie says robotically. “This is just another accident, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck nods numbly, looking away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You read that book on American sign language last year, right? After the apartment fire with the deaf woman?" Buck nods again and Eddie continues. "Good. Just answer as best you can for me. Did he tell you not to talk or is the bruising why you're being so quiet?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck hides his hands in his lap, carefully signing </span>
  <em>
    <span>B-O-T-H</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you hurt anywhere that I can't see?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck gets halfway through signing no before he stops, looking almost ashamed as he shakes his hand </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He winces when his fingers move across his own ribs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie touches the area tenderly, hating how Buck goes stiff under his hands. "From the airbag going off or something else?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck looks at Eddie out of the corner of his eye and Eddie has to keep from clenching his hands in frustration. There are a few shallow cuts on Buck’s face and Eddie doesn’t want to think about whether or not that’s because of the accident or the same </span>
  <em>
    <span>something else.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck’s hands tremble in his lap as he signs: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Six months. Always been bad.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie’s seen how this plays out; he can’t suggest that Buck goes to the hospital because then the boyfriend- whatever the hell that bastard’s name is- will get mad. But he also knows he can’t let the rest of the team see him either because that’s only going to add to the stress of it. He hopes Buck doesn’t see the way that his hands have started to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does Bobby know about any of this? Or Maddie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“…is he why you switched shifts? Stopped talking to all of us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck nods again, his bottom lip wobbling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>S-H-A-W-N said I talked about you guys too much. Made him mad. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I have to say something, right? I can’t keep quiet about this, Buck. Not just because of the job, but because I care about you. I can’t sit by and do nothing knowing that he’s hurting you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck gives him a wide-eyed look, his eyes brimming with tears, but he doesn’t fight Eddie’s words. Eddie pulls his hands back from the window, glancing up towards the trucks again; Shawn is looking in their direction every few seconds and Eddie knows its time to make himself scarce. For Buck’s sake as well as his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t say anything while everyone is here, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> be careful, Buck,” Eddie all but begs. “I don’t want the next time I see you to be in a hospital… we’ll come and get you, Buck. I promise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck nods and his eyes get glossy around the edges. Eddie pats him once on the arm before walking away, wishing there was a way he could stay without making everything worse. He keeps his jaw tight as he walks back over so that he doesn’t get ahead of himself and start yelling in Shawn’s face like he so badly wants to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Passenger insisted on not going to the hospital,” he says before Bobby has even asked. He knows his tone is bordering on too short to be considered polite, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not where Buck is involved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure were over there for a long time,” Shawn sneers accusingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being thorough is part of my job,” Eddie replies. “It’s not like we were making small talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shawn’s eyes narrow for just a second and Eddie turns on his heel, not waiting around to see if he’s going to pick a fight. Eddie goes straight to the truck and shuts the door behind, sinking down into his seat and pressing his palms into his eyes as he tries to keep himself together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ignores the looks he knows that everyone is giving him on the drive back to the station, Hen and Chimney especially. Eddie only plans on saying all of this once and he doesn’t need a crowd. He’s the first one out of the truck when they get back to the station and before he can look around and search for Bobby, the captain is catching him by the arm with a concerned face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I wanna know what set you off on that last call?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie glances around for a minute before gesturing into the locker room when he sees too many people hanging around. Despite having plenty of time to think of what he’s going to say, Eddie doesn’t know where to start. His throat goes dry just thinking of everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck was the passenger in the accident,” he says hoarsely, hating the words even more out loud. “And that pissed-off </span>
  <em>
    <span>bastard</span>
  </em>
  <span> had him so beat up and scared that he couldn’t even speak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby’s eyes get hard around the edges. “How bad?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The bruising around his throat couldn’t have been more than a day or two old. It doesn’t look like this was the first time something happened, either. It hurt him when I checked his ribs, too. Buck says it's been six months and it's always like this. They're both big guys, but Shawn still has a few inches on Buck- he's obviously using that to his advantage." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought his request for a shift change was strange but- I should've-." Bobby stops himself short, grimacing. "I'll pull the name from the accident report, let Athena know to keep an eye on any calls that come in, but until then-." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sitting ducks, I know." Eddie huffs frustratedly. If they could send cops over right away without putting Buck in more danger, Eddie would make the call himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're gonna get him out, Eddie. One way or another." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows that. He just wishes it could happen </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> before Buck has the chance to get hurt again. Eddie feels on edge the rest of his shift with no reprieve and doesn't say a word to anyone if he doesn't have to, knowing he'll say something he regrets if given the chance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waits until the next day to call Hen and Chimney separately, letting them know what he knows. They’re both furious at not putting it together sooner and equal parts upset that there isn’t anything they can immediately do. Eddie asks Chimney to call Maddie on his own behalf; he doesn’t know what he would even say to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just thinking how upset she’s going to be when she hears all the details makes his eyes sting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing happens for two weeks and he feels like pulling his hair out a little more with every day that passes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie is on call when he gets the text- a number he doesn’t recognize with only an address. The next one follows a second later, saying: </span>
  <em>
    <span>he thinks I cheated, I can’t get him to stop screaming at me. I don’t know what to do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He scrambles to get up and runs to Bobby's office, shoving the phone in his face. Bobby barely has a second to read it before his own phone is lighting up with a call from Athena.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Athena, hey, Eddie was just-.” He stops abruptly, his eyes going wide. Bobby tilts the phone away from his ear, saying, “Shawn’s neighbor just called in a noise complaint and says he has a history of being violent- grab Hen and Chimney, we have to move.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of them are headed towards the trucks in a second and speeding down the street. Eddie feels his eyes burn as he presses his head against the glass, wishing they could be there already while also wishing that they didn’t have to be doing this at all.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The street is eerily still when they pull up, but the noise from inside the house is anything but.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before the officers have even dragged him out, Shawn is screaming at the top of his lungs- horrible, criminal things that Eddie wishes he could unhear. It makes his blood boil; if this is even a fraction of the things that Buck has had to endure in the last six months, he doesn’t want to know what the rest looks like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Shawn is in the back of a squad car, Athena is in the doorway of the house, calling for Bobby to come inside. He motions for everyone else to stay behind, for Buck’s sake as well as their own. It feels like an eternity waiting for Bobby to come out of the house; Eddie takes to pacing in the street, clenching his hands periodically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chimney sees them first with a muffled, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, my god.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie’s head whips up and his knees nearly go out from under him at the sight. Bobby has an arm around Buck’s shoulders, leading him slowly out of the house while Buck keeps his eyes downcast. There’s a shiner under his left eye that wasn’t there the last time that Eddie saw him and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hates</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. He’d run to Buck if he could, but Eddie doesn’t want to scare him; he’s suffered enough.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck and Bobby stop a few feet short of the team; Buck still hasn’t looked up at anyone and Eddie can’t say he blames him. His hands are tucked in the pockets of the hoodie hanging loosely on his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hen speaks up first, saying, “Buck, I’d like to give you a hug, if that’s okay with you.” Eddie can hear how firm she’s trying to be, how she’s willing her voice not to break.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck picks up his head, shaking from head to toe as he meets her eye with his own bloodshot ones. He doesn’t respond other than to step towards her arms. Buck doesn’t hug her back- hell, he barely seems to breathe, but he turns his face into her neck all the same, hiding as much as he can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chimney and Eddie come around his other sides, protecting Buck from nosy onlookers that have drawn a crowd. Buck barely makes a sound as he starts to cry and Eddie doesn’t want to think about where he learned to do that. After a while, Buck turns his face away from Hen’s neck and his eyes find Eddie’s immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you we’d come get you,” Eddie says softly and Buck only nods at him, both of their eyes spilling over. He leaves his hand in the middle of Buck’s back after that, all of them holding him carefully, letting him know that none of them are going anywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After every statement has been taken and the last of everyone's emotions exhausted, they all go back to the station. It’s not much of a surprise when Bobby ushers Buck off to the bunk room, but no one follows either of them. Eddie tries to busy himself with chores; the leftover dishes from lunch, cleaning out the crumbs from the couches- anything to keep his mind off how badly he wants to go check on Buck. He’s in the middle of folding the station’s towels by himself when Bobby approaches him. “Put those down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m not d-.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve done more than enough, Eddie. Go sit with him; it’ll do you both some good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie only hesitates for a second before dropping the towel in his hand, picking up speed the closer that he gets. He knocks on the door before letting himself in, just to give Buck the heads up. It’s dark when he opens the door; Buck is stretched out on his usual bunk, he picks his head up when the door creaks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Eddie says gently. “You feel up for some company?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck nods, already sitting up and planting his feet on the floor; Eddie leaves a foot of space between them as he sits, not wanting to crowd Buck inadvertently. His eye catches something in the low light of the room- a small scar over the base of Buck's throat. He can't stop himself from asking, "Did he give that to you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck furrows his brow, putting the pieces together when he follows Eddie's eyeline. He touches the area with tender fingers. He lifts his hands as if to try and tell the story then stops when he doesn't know where to start. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Conversation for a different day?" Eddie asks and Buck just nods, pulling his hoodie tighter around his shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bruises around Buck's throat are gone now but Eddie can't seem to stop seeing them; every time he closes his eyes, they're there. Lurking. Reminding him of all the things he failed to do, people he failed to protect. He knows, on some level, that all of this isn't on him. That doesn't make it hurt any less.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he can stop himself, Eddie says, "Does it hurt? Talking, I mean." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck shakes his head. His mouth twitches like he wants to speak but can't make the words come out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just overwhelmed?" Eddie asks and Buck nods, relieved that someone understands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His cell phone chimes in his pocket; Christopher is calling. He must be home from school already. Eddie looks over at Buck in silent question, earning a nod when he sees who is calling. Eddie puts the call on speaker. "Hey, Chris. How was school?" </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Good."</span>
  </em>
  <span> Eddie doesn't miss the way Buck seems to settle at the sound of Christopher's voice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"I got all the words right on my vocabulary test. Even the really hard ones." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's what I like to hear- we'll get ice cream this weekend to celebrate, sound good?" </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Awesome! Can we call Buck and ask if he wants to come with us?"</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie looks over to Buck, not missing the way his face falters. He drops his head to Eddie's shoulder, hiding his face. "Actually, Buck's right here… he's having a bit of a bad day, but I'm sure he'd really like it if you said hello." </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hi, Buck,"</span>
  </em>
  <span> Christopher replies. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm sorry you're having a bad day. You can't feel it but I'm giving you an air hug." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck lets out a shuddering breath, his shoulders beginning to shake. He picks his head up and looks at Eddie tearfully, then down at the phone; Buck touches his fingers to his chin then pulls them downward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He says thank you," Eddie tells him, voice wavering just a bit. "If not this weekend, Buck can come with us when he feels better, alright, bud?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stay on the phone for another few minutes, letting Christopher go on about his day. Eddie watches as the tension slowly seeps out of Buck's form as they talk, his head dropping to Eddie's shoulder again. The call ends and Eddie leans into Buck's space when he doesn't shy away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie breaks the dead silence of the room saying, "You know we love you, right? And I don't just mean me and Christopher, all of us. We're here to help you with this; however you need it and whatever time it takes." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucks nods, his warm hand circling around Eddie's forearm and squeezing in a way that says: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know. Thank you for being here. And for coming to get me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It means more than you know.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was going for more platonic Buck and Eddie here. I don't know if I managed that, but hey, I tried.</p><p>Hey, thanks for reading my fic! Comments/Kudos are both appreciated and encouraged. Have a great day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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